If I disappear for a few days, chances are I’m extremely busy writing articles for another publication, or I’m fiddling about with something trivial. This time, it was the latter! Remembering my time in the Caribbean, I suddenly had an urge to build one of those little shopping villages surrounded by colourful and rustic architecture. So began the next stretch of New France…
Welcome to Paradise Cove shopping village. Sorry about the road markings, or lack thereof – the asphalt is still a bit fresh! (NB: don’t use oil based paints for dioramas)
Paradise Cove Trading Co.
The central attraction here would probably be the Paradise Cove Trading Company building, which we will pretend was built in 1764 by French traders. Sticking true to its heritage with spices and silks, the store has also grown to accommodate a plethora of businesses in the 21st century, as well as an abundant supply of dolphin themed waterglobes.
Palustris & Sons Surf Co.
Going surfing? Forget your beach towel? Need a new bikini? Impress your friends with a Tiki totem pole perhaps? or do you just drive a wagon? If so, and even if not, this is the place for you – Palustris & Sons surfing Company Surf Shop, founded in 1980 shortly after the establishment of Jassie’s Garage, Mama J’s Red Rocket Diner, Mama J’s Vixen Ranch, and Mama J’s Family Autos – there are a number of people who might oppose the unprecedented growth of the Palustris family empire, but they quiet down when they find their homes and businesses inexplicably bulldozed. Well, accidents will happen.
Iguana Jas’s 24 hour Bar and Grill
If you’re tired of the burger smell sticking in your car at Mama Dino’s, find Wallamama’s 12am closing time dissatisfying, or are sick of hearing the 24 hour Rock-and-Roll at the RR Diner, you might try Iguana Jas’s Bar and Grill – a recent extension of the Palustris family dynasty. A treat for the more daring, the reggae beats of this ramshackle bar throb almost as hard as your head will after one of their all-night parties. Founded in 1951 as Iguana Joe’s, the independent bar owner couldn’t resist a sumptuous offer from Paradise Cove’s infamous matriarch, and so met retirement. If you merrily stagger out at 5am, try to land above the high-tide line!
Sandy Beach extends almost the whole way alongside Route A7 Sunshine Boulevard, but this stretch in particular attracts heart-stopping exotics and breathtaking classics like no other. Perhaps the owners are attracted to the low, low prices of the Paradise Cove Trading Company, since their automobiles have surely drained them of every other expense! Otherwise, they are no doubt here to enjoy a night at Iguana Jas’s, where the VIP Cocktail area allows all the well-connected people of Paradise Cove to mingle with Mama J herself.
The Palustris Clan
Ever wonder why everything here in Paradise Cove is called “Mama J’s” or belongs to “Palustris and Sons”? Well, Jasmine Palustris’s success story is perhaps for another time, but she and her four sons have cars that say more about them than any lengthy blog post ever could:
It is a smart person who treads carefully whenever this motor car is around – Jasmine Palustris’s eye catching 1958 Edsel Citation Convertible has an almost presidential vibe, fitting for someone determined to make all of Paradise Cove her own. Car scratchers be warned – it’s not just treasure that gets buried around these parts.
Occasionally you might also see Mama J’s 1958 Edsel Pacer – which we all know couldn’t possible be the same one used in American Graffiti, since that movie used a Corsair! This is the car that brought Jasmine to Paradise Cove back in 1976, and so the memories in this car are as hard to remove as the blood stains in the trunk.
The Range Rover Sport hadn’t even reached the lot before Mama Palustris’s youngest son, Addy Palustris, decided he wanted it for himself. Some annoying but unsurprising air-suspension niggles were soon ironed out, and before long the Range Rover could be seen everywhere you might expect it to be – from disabled bays to too close to the car in front. He especially enjoys leaving it here, where, for him, the lawn of his mother’s store constitutes off-roading.
The eldest of the Palustris brothers, Jacob, makes his role in the family known by cruising in his pink ’69 Cadillac Sedan DeVille. With a road presence almost rivalling that of his mother’s car, it isn’t difficult to recognise him, and respects better be paid, unless you enjoy riding inside the back of Caddies… the trunk, that is. Just be prepared to share with four others.
Jasper Palustris, the third of the four brothers, loves British cars, and their astonishing ability to be both beautifully designed and horrendously built, but unlike his younger brother Addy, he’d never go for anything as low-brow as a Range Rover Sport. He’d have gone for an E-Type, of course, but they’re just so damn common in Paradise Cove – especially the coupes, and he certainly wasn’t going to go for a Zee just to have a convertible. The XJS (or XJ-S) was the next step – US Spec headlights weren’t his plan, but they actually look pretty good on this car. And it’s totally worth it for that shade of 70s green.
Jasper also loves his 1958 Belvedere, a present from his mother to get him into the classic American car scene. He would drive it more often, of course, but if he hears one more person call it a Fury, he might just have to make her go Christine on their asses.
Not prepared to be the forgotten second-born, Jonah Palustris knew he needed a car with as much “wow” factor as his mother and eldest brother combined. Only the matriarch or family book-keeper could possibly afford a motor car this nice, and it’s won almost every show on Sandy Beach since he got it – not that it would ever lose, you see.
This 1959 Chevrolet Brookwood Wagon looks at home here by Palustris & Sons Surfing Co., where the owner is no doubt picking up some supplies for that canoe trip – or maybe they’re looking for some deck chairs, since their car is severely lacking in interior amenities. Either way, they’re welcome to stay as long as they like.
Only one truck can deliver the kind of variety the Paradise Cove Trading Company offers, and it’s the 1955 Ford Panel Van. Well, maybe that’s not entirely true, but ever since it came out in matte blue, we wouldn’t want any other delivery truck to come!
All manner of classic American metal is welcome here at Paradise Cove!
Totally Tubular! Nothing goes better in front of the Surf Shop than a Radical VW bus.
Speaking of VWs, this T34 Karmann Ghia Convertible looks like the next candidate for a tourism poster!
It’s not just classic wagons that are welcome at the Surf Shop… this Volvo V60 is a dream wagon in a dreamy Polestar Blue! Yes, we love the boxes of the olden times, but this Volvo redefines fun, especially with that cheeky little smile he has. I can’t wait for the beige one to come out.
Well, that’s all I have time for I’m afraid. I hope you enjoyed the pictures, and thanks for reading!